India Update: Finally Home

Dear Readers,

I have been home for nearly a week now. Some how between saying final goodbyes, over 18 hours of plane rides, travelling home, running to a wedding, going through the woods to visit grandma, and finally crash landing in Michigan, while striving to beat jet lag...Somehow I haven't been able to blog until now.

It's been a whirlwind. It seems so surreal to think last week I was on the other side of the world. Now I'm visiting Michigan for the first time ever. Scratch that, it is a whirlwind, and last week seems like a dream.

But the beautiful thing is that it wasn't a dream. It really did happen. I met some of the most beautiful people in the world, rode an elephant, and learned and relearned lessons invaluable.

I discovered the secret dimension of living is not in what you can do for others or what they can do for you, but it is in simply being. And guess what. That's not something to be feared. Though so often we, in our American lifestyles, are running around from here to there, barely resting to get to know ourselves, much less give others a chance. The simplicity of living is in being. It's in living life with others, accepting yourself in all you are, as you are, and doing the same for others. Acknowledging that we are all on a journey to our better selves that lie somewhere in the future, and until then we're all covered by the grace of the Lord. The Lord loves us, and we are all in this world together, being transformed daily for his glory. So what is there to fear in community? In the movie P.S. I Love You, Kathy Bates says "Even if we're all alone, well then we're all in that together too." The joy of community is that we are never alone. And in that there is the Lord, together with us, helping us grow, change, and bear fruit.

India did have a happy "ending," but I don't think it's as much of an ending, as a happy beginning. The beginning of something new. The Lord began to tear off deep things embedded in my heart. Things I didn't even know were there. Things that I denied were there. Things that I fought like the devil as he began to reveal them through other people. However, as long as the hidden prevails in darkness, that's it. It prevails, because if what is darkness is not brought to light, how can it be dealt with?

Through the past few years the Lord has been peeling off layers of fear. If ogres are like onions, then I must be big and green, because I have lots of layers and they keep coming off. And they'll keep coming off until I'm fearless. Walking away from India, some layers have been left behind, and the beauty of who the Lord is in me is slowly being revealed. One step away from the darkness, one step into light. I'm not finished. He's not finished, but it's a step and if even one step is made, it's worth it. I'm not the same, nor do I think I could be.

This won't be my last time in India. I am declaring that. I will be back, in the Lord's time. However, until then, I'm going to keep growing, keep seeking him, and keep being, because in that He is glorified.

Dear Readers, thank you for being apart of this journey. This is only the beginning of something great. I don't know where I'm going from here on out. All I know is that I am in Michigan and when I get back I have a place to stay for a month. For the first time in my month I don't have a plan, but I feel like that's ok. I'm at Peace. The doors will be open. The time has come for me to be. To trust. To wait. The Lord will come through. Pray for me!

Love you all,
<3 Kay