Wednesday, June 8, 2016

5 Lessons You Learn In the First 5 Days of Parenting

5:45 am this past Thursday I woke up with cramps. Kind of like period cramps, but harder. I mean it was to be expected I was 9 months pregnant and a few days. About an hour later it hit me that I was having contractions. Like real contractions, not the little Braxton Hicks twinges I got trying to induce labor by walking the mall. But the real deal. 16 hours later we were were on the way to the birth center, sure I was going to die (not really, but from all the shady information the Internet throws out I was sure I had at least another 12-18 hours to go, and no way was I prepared for that). Fortunately, within 3 1/2 hours of being at the birth center  (The  Minnesota Birth Center ) I had the most beautiful baby I had ever seen laying in my arms.
June 3rd, 2016.
3:07 am.
7lbs 10 oz. 20.25 inches long.
Before we knew what hit us, El Esposo and I were thrust into the throws of parenthood and all that comes with it. If I could I would share every single moment with you. It's like Mary, "she treasured up all these things in her heart." I now am of the opinion that it is impossible to truly understand the depth of the this verse until you have your own someone and their moments to treasure.
These are the simple times. The times that will slip away without warning, but never be forgotten. Where taking hour long skin-to-skin naps in the early afternoon is the number one priority. Where new eyes are full of wonder and awe. Time stands still and is meant to be treasured. And I treasure and would share all these treasures if I could, but though it's only been 5 days, I think this post would go on for 5 days, so instead I'm going to share the highlights. 5 Lessons learned within the first 5 days of Parenthood:
1. You may be a parent if your first response is "I love you so much" when a tiny human projects nearly every bodily fluid on you in the span of 5 minutes.
I was feeding baby girl when all of a sudden I hear a loud "plphtth" sound coming from her drawers. I keep nursing. Maybe it's just gas. But then I hear it again , and shrimp pulls away, grimacing and squirming. No, this is the real deal. I'm still learning how babies work, so now I'm faced with the decision of whether I should change her or burp her first. Thinking of the greenish pool her buns are inarguably sitting in, I go with change her.  Carefully, carefully El Esposo takes her out of my arms and I pull myself off the bed. On the changing table, she continues to grimace. I think I would grimace too if my butt was drowning in a pool of sludge. Gingerly, we pull the tabs off her diaper and open it up. She wasn't done. We wait a few seconds, letting her finish her business. Then carefully pull the diaper out from under her. Oh, but wait, she still isn't done. Greenish-black goop comes running down my hand. I want to smack my forehead, but am aware this would only make the situation worst. Instead, I'm  proactive and pushed the fresh diaper underneath. I, again, wait for her to finish, while I grab a wipe to clean off my hand. Now she has to be done. I open a fresh diaper, and because I'm smart, and learn from my mistakes, i put the fresh diaper underneath her before I remove the dirty one. Little legs hoisted, butt in the air...but guess what! She's still not done. This time a stream of yellow fluid comes right at me, landing on my shirt, flowing down her back, staining her cute little dress. I thought only little boys were supposed to pee on you. Ok, this is enough. I start wiping of all the gunk from her rear and pull the dress off of her, careful for the umbilical cord stump. Thank goodness for that pinterest hack in saw about how to get a baby out of a poop-soaked onesie. Baby finally clean, I pick her up, remove the dirty changing table cover, throw the dressy at El Esposo, hoping he can rinse it with water so it won't be ruined. Finally she has a clean diaper. I pick her up to take her back to the bed. Mind you, I hadn't yet burped her. Upon picking her up, she spits up all down my shirt  and proceeds to sneeze in my face. I pull her back to see her face. Her eyes are wide. And at this point all I can do is laugh. "I love you so much," I whisper and kiss her on the cheek. 5 minutes is all it takes for a tiny human to make a mess.
2. Despite what you thought in high school, your mom really does know everything.
Everyday of this adventure I'm realizing how little I know about anything that has to do with anything when it comes to babies. And you know that fear that every mom has "I sound like my mother." Well it turns out I wish in some way I could sound like my mother, because then that would me a might know a thing or too. From boppy pillows to sleep schedules, I'm so happy I have someone that ran through a lot of trial and error before me and is willing to share that knowledge. Love you mom. Congrats on your promotion to grandma.
3. Babies look nothing like you think they will, but they come out absolutely perfect.
Throughout the whole pregnancy, El Esposo and would talk about how we thought our little bundle of love would look. And let me tell you, she looks nothing like anything we ever thought about. But I wouldn't want her any other way. Big black eyes, dark hair, prieta skin. She's a little chicana if ever laid my eyes on one. And she has the cutest little birthmark on her cheek that I just love. Poor baby, I know she's going to hate it when she gets older, and I'm going to love her all the more for it. To me it's absolute perfection. She's absolute perfection, because she's mine.
4. You know you've crossed over into parenthood when the thought races through your mind "it's 4 o'clock! We got to sleep in!"
It's no news that babies keep you up at night. They wake up and want to eat every 2-4 hours round the clock. That means if you go to bed at 10 pm, you could possibly be waking at midnight...2am... 4am...6am... and by 8 am you might as well give up, because who can get into a REM cycle on that schedule? And of course, if your baby is like our baby, she doesn't want to go back to sleep after eating at night. Nights the time to play! Back in the womb, 3 am was when she'd host her own little dance party, so why should outside the womb be any different? Of course during the day, she'll wake up, eat, get changed, and go right back to sleep, no assistance needed. But at night it's a different story. From adjusting to sleeping outside the womb, to the night she was super gassy and uncomfortable, baby girl is a night owl. El Esposo and I have been putting our heads together though. We're inging on to all the wisdom of Mom  (I kid you not, she really does know everything) and trying to think back to all the advise we recieved back before we knew what sleep deprivation really met. Finally we've figured out a system that worked (or at least it worked for one night so far) and baby girl only woke up once last night. She slept from midnight to 4am and 4 am to 8 am. 2 am came around, my body jumped awake, knowing she'd want to eat soon. But there was nothing. I put my hand down in to the bassinette to touch her belly. I could feel her breathing, still wrapped tightly in her swaddle. I let her sleep. I slept. Finally at 4 am I was startled awake by little lips smacking. I turned on the side table light and looked at my phone. 4 o'clock? That couldn't be right? Had she slept that long? I kid you not, the thought popped into my head, "were slept in." Then the reality of my thoughts really hit me. Parenthood does not mean know sleeping in. Sleeping in just means something a little different.
5. You believe in love at first sight.
After 22 hours of labor I was done. With a final push there was another person in the world, and in a matter of seconds she was resting on my chest. Though she didn't look like anything I had imagined, and she was covered in pregnancy slime, my heart was undeniably stolen. Before I gave birth, I read several blogs where new moms would talk about how they didn't "love" their baby at first. Of course they loved their baby, but the uncontrollable feelings associated with that just weren't there. So when they placed that slime, warm little mess on my chest the feelings that washed over me were almost unexpected. And I knew I had never loved anything or anyone so much in my entire life.
In the end I am learning mother's are their children's treasure chests, where every moment of their lives is stored and cared for in a way that only a mother could know. Every day is bringing new moments, from keeping her eyes open when there's light out, to losing her umbilical cord stub. And every moment keeps me in the tension where I am simultanrously praying for her future and gently whispering "please stay small" as I treasure up all of her moments in my heart.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Gosh Kayla, you're an amazing writer! Love ya'

Kelly :)