Maundy Thursday

I know this is late, but I had been meditating on this all day yesterday, and really felt compelled to share it.

John 13: 1-10

It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

² The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. ³ Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; ⁴ so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. ⁵ After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

⁶ He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”

⁷ Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

⁸ “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”

Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”

⁹ “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”

¹⁰ Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” 

There are two major concepts I really want to pay attention to. This first is Jesus's answer to Peter when he says, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." All I can think of, is how many times in our lives is this the way the Lord operates. He is working and molding us. However, we don't understand it. It seems odd, but sometimes also dark and scary. In this time period, only servants washed the feet of the people that entered the house. Therefore, when Jesus came to Peter, Peter felt it would be the noble thing to refuse to let Jesus wash his feet. After all, Jesus was his mentor, his Lord. However, Jesus said, "I know this is weird and out of the ordinary, but trust me, it will make sense later" (obviously paraphrased). Does the same not go for us? As Jesus is working his plans and purposes, we fight, because it does not fit into our schema. However in retrospect it makes perfect sense and we see in clarity the work the Lord has done. We see we have been washed, made clean, and made whole. 

Secondly, the answer to Peter asking to be cleaned wholly. The Lord's answer was, you are clean, just let me clean your feet. I know I deal with this, when I have recognized the sin in my heart, I go into guilt mode and am taken under by shame, praying "Lord, clean me from head to toe! I am filthy!" However, the Lord says, "You are clean, except your feet. Just let me clean them." Feet need to be cleaned daily. In the same way, we must allow the Lord to speak to us, clean the areas of us that are still far from him. Though we have already been brought into relationship, there are still parts that are broken and away from the Lord. In being cleaned daily, we are ever brought into deeper intimacy.

Abba,

Wash my feet. Though I have surrendered and desire relationship with you,  and that is what makes me clean, there are still areas that are distant. Abba, though it may be hard to understand, I trust you, and pray you would bring me into deeper intimacy with you daily. Amen

Blessed

Look who came to school today! Love people who chose to bless others, not for what they may receive in return, but from the goodness of their hearts. (Also was super blessed by a friend who gave me Greek yogurt at work!)

Contentment: Guest Blog 2

Another ironic guest blog from Beth Moore's blog. My friend showed me this blog, again, spoke leaps and bounds to this theme of discontentment. Enjoy!

What Would You Look Like?

March 26th, 2013 Beth

Tags: Posted in Uncategorized

Hey, Darling Things! 

I am about to write one of the fastest posts of my life because it’s almost time for the ministry to close for the day and I don’t like for any of the support staff to feel like they have to stay around and wait for me. My man will also be ready for his wife to come home. I don’t have time to think about how I should say this or to proof it and rehash it for the next two hours. I’m just going to spit it out there because I can’t shake it from my mind and I feel it pressing on me in such a way that I’ve got to release it.

In the wonderful (and I really do mean wonderful) world of blogs and Twitter-follows, a pile-up can happen with the potential to profoundly hinder the Gospel. We can find ourselves suddenly feeling panicked, or confused, or left out, or just plain lame because our follow-ship of Christ doesn’t look like someone else’s that we admire. I know that’s a yawner. I mean, who doesn’t already know that can happen? Talk about an elementary grasp of the obvious. But stay with me here a second and hash this out a bit because this very thing happened to me yesterday. And I feel like if it happened to me – and I’ve been pretty convinced of the direction of my calling for years now – that it could happen to a lot of us. Especially those who haven’t quite gotten their footing yet. See if you relate:

I read a fabulous post by a young woman I greatly respect and I was moved and convicted by it but over the next few hours I fell into the (self-induced!) trap of thinking things like, “I should have taken that same stand. That’s what’s really important. We should have vastly downsized. We should have moved to the inner city. Not out to the country. I need to get rid of more stuff. ” (And I do, for crying out loud.)  “And I need to be more active globally.” And on and on and on. Now, listen to me carefully when I tell you that it was not her post. The post was tremendous, filled with the love of Jesus, and such a portrayal of the Gospel. The problem was what my mind then did with it.

I started thinking of all the people who are doing effectual things for the Kingdom, who I admire tremendously and often wish I were more like. For instance, I started thinking of some Bible professors who I follow who spend all of their work lives training up students in the Scriptures then watch them walk out into the world and take their places. Now, that’s huge. And I started thinking of my dear friends who do amazing and courageous work to fight the atrocities of human trafficking and I think, “Now, THAT’S enormous! What a reflection of the heart of God! Freedom!!! Does it get any bigger than that?? THAT’S what God’s prioritizing right now!” They impact and motivate me every day. And then I start thinking of people who’ve adopted numerous orphans and those who put their hearts at risk over and over as fabulous, loving foster parents. I love children! What could be more Christ-like than that??? And I have so many missionary friends who have left every worldly comfort for the Gospel of the living Lord Jesus Christ, sometimes at the daily risk of their lives. That is the Great Commission! The main thing Jesus sent us out to do!

AND, SISTER, IT IS.

But which cause do we take up? Where do we begin? Which one is God’s favorite?? Who’s God’s favorite??? Because I want to be like God’s favorite, don’t you? Yes, yes, Jesus is God’s favorite. And He is the one and only Person we should want to be just like. But, let’s admit it. Sometimes we can get a little confused in this lens we have to the world through one quick gleaming glance at our screen. The works of God taking place out there are astounding! And some of them we now have the privilege to give ear to every single day through Twitter. It’s fabulous. I absolutely love it. But it can also be bewildering as we try to figure out where we fit in all of that. And maybe we can’t see a fit at all.

Here’s what I want to throw at you to consider. This is what I felt God placed upon my heart as I wrestled with this last night.

What do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength?

Because THAT person, Girlfriend, is who He’s looking for in you.

When we’re trying to hash out God’s priorities for us, that’s IT in a nutshell. “Teacher, which commandment is the most important of all?”

And that’s what He told them.

So, let me ask you this: when you are teeming with love for the Lord your God, who are you right then? What is your passion? What is it that you are bursting to do? That’s probably the stream of your calling. I’m not asking you who you see in front of you when you feel the most love for Jesus because that could be your pastor or your teacher or your worship leader. I’m asking you who is INSIDE OF YOU when you are flooded with the fiery love of Christ? Right there in that passion you’ll start discovering that purpose.

You following Christ will not always look the same as someone else following Christ. Why on earth would He have bothered to form you in your mother’s womb with your own DNA and life experience ahead just to copy what someone else you’re seeing is doing?

Who are you supposed to look like in your calling here on earth and in the way you follow Christ? You’re supposed to look like the version of you that loves Jesus with everything in you.

That’s the real you.

And that’s the road down which you will find what He put you on the planet to do. You don’t have to figure out what to surrender to. Just surrender your heart to Jesus. Every single ounce of it. Ask Him to give you a love for Him that surpasses anything in your human experience. A supernatural capacity. And ask Him for it every day until He does it and then ask Him to do it some more. If you’re a writer, your exploding love for Him will bring it out. If you’re a liberator, you will not be able to keep yourself from seeing to the oppressed. If you’re a teacher, you won’t be able to quit studying except to share what you learned with somebody. If you love Him with your whole heart and that whole heart bursts to sell everything and move to China, Girl, get your passport!

Who would you be if you loved Jesus with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength?

That’s what you’re meant to look like.

Let THAT person follow Him, and He, Child, will make you a fisher of men.

My fastest post ever. But I feel better.

I love you guys so much.

Contentment: Guest Blog

Remember how yesterday I was screaming of feelings of discontentment. This guest blog. It's from my pastor, Dan Thompson's, blog: Apprentice 2 Jesus. If you're in the Minneapolis area check out Heights Church, and as you read, note the irony of my life. Blessings :)
The Elusive Position of Contentment

Posted by Dan on March 27, 2013 in Bible Study, Spiritual Formation

¹² I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor. ¹³ I can endure all these things through the power of the one who gives me strength. (Phil. 4:12-13, CEB)

In a culture that thrives on being DIScontent, these words from Paul sound impossible. Our economy thrives on people being DIScontent with their current products so they will go and buy new products. Our fast-paced media thrives on our DIScontent to shove fantastic stories into face 24 hours a day.

Contentment sounds impossible. It sounds BORING.

How can someone live with contentment and expect to get on the news?!?

But for Paul, this is the place learn absolute trust. Hungry or full. Closet full of clothes or the clothes on our back. We can know Christ and knowing Christ is contentment. 

When we have Christ, what he has put in our lives we call good. Circumstances don’t matter when Christ is our center.

Oatmeal Crusted Onion Fritters

Been a while since I posted a recipe, so that's what I'm posted. Made these yesterday, and liked 'em so much decided I would make them again today. Enjoy!

This batch got a little too well done. However, the first batch was great!

Oatmeal Crusted Onion Fritters

1 medium-large onion, slice

1 egg, beaten

1 cup oatmeal

1 tbsp flax seed (optional)

salt

pepper

paprika

garlic powder

Preheat oven to 375 and grease cookie sheet. Place egg in one medium sized bowl and in a second bowl mix the oatmeal, flax, and seasonings. Next, take a slice of onion, dip in egg and then dip in the oatmeal mixture. Place on cookie sheet. Repeat with the remaining onion slices. Bake for 15 minutes. Enjoy with honey mustard. 

Contentment

Lately I have been struggling to really find the words to say how I am feeling. Literally, I am speechless. My feelings are strong, but I haven't know how to express this ever gnawing struggle that has been brewing inside my body. I've tried to explain to friends, family, and mentors what my heart is screaming, only to be prayed for and find I am sorely misunderstood.  Then today I found it. One word to describe the aching in my heart: discontentment. That is what it is in every essence of the word. I am feeling discontent in my relationships, in my attitudes, in my relationship with the Lord.

Now I recognize that a certain level of discontentment is good. I don't think we should ever be satisfied with where we are in the Lord and in our personal growth. We should continually be seeking to go higher, deeper, and wider with the Lord. We must not grow content in being stuck in the same rut, when the Lord has called us to more. However, when this discontentment is causing anxiety and worry (both which make me a little angsty and I kind of begin to hate myself) this is unhealthy. I am craving deeper relationships so that I will be in community, reflecting the Lord. I want to be pouring into others. I'm sick of hearing the same old verse that says "Be still and know that I am God."

However, maybe in this discontentment, I am missing the point. "Be still." Be content. This seems to have been a theme in a lot of my blogs this semester. The theme of being still and this being my struggle and I am discontent with simply staying in this state. However, if I can not be content with this simple command: To be still and trust the Lord. How can I be trusted with anything else?

My lack of trust in the Lord is reflected in all else I do. In refusing to be still with the Lord, I find that I am flailing, kicking and screaming in a pool of overwhelming exhaustion, grasping for a life support. What I don't realize is that if I would simply be still, I would float, and find that I have already been given refuge by the gentle currents that support me as I travel down the river of life.

Finding contentment in the Lord I am given peace, joy, and hope, because I understand I am safe and secure though all else seems like chaos and confusion.

Again, I am studying Psalm 91 right now, and a metaphor used in this passage is finding refuge under the Lord's wings. The only other time that this metaphor is used is in the book of Ruth 2:12 where Boaz says to Ruth: "I have heard how you left your family and your homeland when your husband passed away. You traveled to this foreign land to care for your mother-in-law. May you be repayed by the Lord, under whose wings you have sought refuge."

Ruth was in a crazy time. She had every reason to feel discontent. In many ways she probably felt lonely and deprived. Her husband had died. She was given the option to go home, but instead she chose to do the hard thing. She said to her mother-in-law "Where you go, I'll go. Where you live, I'll live. You're people will be my people and your God, my God."  She travelled to a foreign land with her mother-in-law where life was hard. She was forced to live like a peasant, getting other people's left-overs. However, instead of wallowing in discontentment and bitterness, she sought contentment in the Lord. The Lord became her Lord.  She lived the life she had been dealt and was grateful.
For this she was given honor by a new husband, she was protected from starvation. She was shown the meaning of the Lord's salvation. More than that, she, a foreigner, was included in the lineage of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. All because she was content to seek the Lord.

Abba, I pray today that I would be content in the life I have been given. I thank you for the life you have given me and that you are working it for your purposes. Today I choose to dwell  in you, being content in every situation and rejoicing always. Your ways are higher than my ways, so who am I to judge you. I will be content with your provision alone, and trust you to provide what I need and for forgiveness for all the times I fail to trust you. May I be a revelation of your love for this world as I seek and abide in your grace and mercy. Your grace is sufficient and to your grace I cling.
-Amen

Fundraiser Part 4: Segue Coffee

Nothing quite brings comfort like snuggling up with a warm mug of coffee. With the semester nearing the final stretch, this is an essential need for most students. We're all battling burnout, but pulling all-nighters to finish that project we should have started 3 weeks ago. Hang in there with a bag of  Segue Cafe Coffee! A percentage of all bean sales through the month of April are going to support me travelling to India this summer. Don't give up! We can make it through this!

Also...If you don't live in the Minneapolis area (say you live in Mason City, where I happen to be travelling to for Easter) leave me a message, and I'll get some to you!

Limited

Ok. So here is the deep theological thought that keeps tickling my brain lately: Jesus was limited. Isn't that a weird thing. We don't usually think that way. Jesus did miracles. He walked on water. He even communed with the prophets of Moses and Elijah who were taken up to heaven way before his birth. Not to mention the way cool fact that he was God of the universe in flesh. Still. He was in flesh, and that flesh part is what made him limited. 

What it means to be limited? Well...

1. He only had 24 hours in a day

2. He could only be in one place at a time (John 11:21)

3. He had to eat (Matthew 9:10)

4. He had to sleep (Matthew 8:24)

5. He had to spend alone time (Luke 5:16)

6. He experienced every human emotion (Matthew 9:36, John 11:35, Matthew 21:12, Luke 10:21)

7. He had to grow (Luke 2:52)

8. He had to trust the Father (Matthew 4:5-7)

These are all things I don't really think of when I think of Jesus. However, they're true. That's what it means when is says "he became flesh and dwelt among us." (John 1:14) Therefore, he understands. That kind of gives me hope. Especially in this season of life I feel overwhelmed and often anxious. I am increasingly aware of how limited I really am, and how I am in need of trusting the Father. Still, I am so slow to do so. Thinking I'm superwoman, I run from here to there, trying and striving to accomplish anything and everything and run through every door of opportunity that presents itself. I'm so reluctant to admit that I am simply incapable of doing everything. I am limited. Therefore, I need to rely on the Father. I need to trust him in any and every situation. I need to abide in the reality that he sees me, knows me, and has put a path before me, that he has also equipped me to walk. Crazy. Jesus was limited. I am limited. Jesus had to trust the Father. Therefore, how much more do I need to rely on Him. Trust does not require testing. In fact, often the testing simply proves my lack of trust. Instead, trust is simply the letting go. It's the falling into the sovereignty of God and letting him have control, as opposed to me fighting for control of something I really never had control of. Embracing my limits means surrendering to my lack of control and capability to do, and allowing the Lord to have control and do more that I could even imagine. I think I'm going to start embracing my limits. 

Itinerary and Budget!

It's been about 2 months since I began this journey, and the Lord continues to blow my mind with His faithfulness. Way back in January, the school stole all my money and I was broke, determined there was no prospects of going to Kolkata. That's when the Lord said, "Shut up and trust me."

Now here I am. Only have about $1200 left to raise! Checking expenses off one by one:

Springfield Orientation                          $200

Visa                                                        $166

 Insurance (42 days)                               $126

 Airline Ticket                                       $1,900

Transportation                                      $185

Lodging                                                 $360

Food                                                      $555

Local Clothing                                      $45

Emergency & Offering                         $300

Just a little bit left!

Also, today I received my tentative flight arrangements. Check this out: 

Frontier  791 17MAY FR Minneapolis-Denver 615A  716A

Frontier 346 17MAY FR Denver-Branson 1019A  103P

United 3395 21MAY TU Springfield-Chicago 201P  327P

United 940 21MAY TU Chicago-Frankfurt  610P  955A 22May

United 8906 22MAY WE Frankfurt-Delhi 145P 1230A 23May operated by Lufthansa

Indigo 273 23MAY TH Delhi-Kolkata 610A 815A (a good carrier based in India)

Indigo 326 26JUN WE Kolkata-Mumbai 235P  510P

United  49 26JUN WE Mumbai-Newark 1110P  510A 27Jun

United 4380 27JUN TH Newark-Minneapolis 929A 1135A

Food Art

Lately a lot of the blogs I follow have been showcasing guest blogs (referencing someone else's blog on your own blog). Today, I'm not going to have a guest blog. However, I am going to introduce you all to someone who should start a blog.

This is my brother's girlfriend, Christy, and although she does not have a blog, she totally should with all of this cute food art she makes. Check this out and leave a comment if you totally agree she should start blogging.

Valentine's Day Love Birds

St. Patrick's Day Rainbow

Coffee

Pumpkin Cake Before

Pumpkin Cake After

Cute Cupcakes Before

Cute Cupcakes After

Fishy!

Brer Rabbit

Summertime!

Love

Coo Coo Clock

Lemony Tea Cake

Lean Mean and Green!

Choo Choo

My Strength

Ok, for real, this was my day yesterday: Consumed by worry and stress. I have talked about my business. Working, interning, taking classes, preparing for India, having a boyfriend, having friends, meanwhile trying to let the Lord be ruler over it all. Woah! Let's take a break, or how about put the brakes on life. That's kind of what I did yesterday. Yesterday I had a bucket full of things I needed to do, but I was consumed with worry about them all. All I really wanted to do was cry, sleep, and cry. That's when I decided to take a nap. I needed some rest. I needed to slow down and to gain some perspective from the Lord. When I awoke, I had slept for four hours, and felt the greatest sense of peace. I got up, ready to do some work, but then realized that it was 11:30 and what I determined was too late to really accomplish anything, so after a short conversation about weddings with my roomate, I went back to my bed and slept the rest of the night. This time, when I awoke worry was again beginning to creep into my thoughts, but when I sat and listened to the Lord, I heard him say "My joy is your strength." That has been my mantra all day, and it is what has brought me joy. The Lord is my strength and through him I can do all things. I can move from worry into peace and from busy to simplicity.

Be Still

Sometimes we get into a sync of doing-doing, going-going, and we say, look how much I'm doing. We thrive off of comments of "Wow! You're really busy." Thinking it as a compliment. Thinking we have gained some sort of righteousness badge. However, we overlook that when we are so divided we can't concentrate, only selectively listen, and are simply too exhausted to regard the feelings of others, the only righteousness gained is self-righteousness. We make excuse of "I'm  too busy, too tired." Not recognizing how our lifestyle is killing us. We're too busy to stop. Too busy to sit still and listen. We wear ourselves into a rut where we forget that our relationships with others are a direct reflection of our relationship with the Lord. Therefore, when we consistently ignore the voices of our brothers and sisters saying "Slow Down. Listen." How much more so do we miss the gentle whisper of the Lord, "Be still..."

Reconciliation

"Because life is too short to fight with my friends." -The Beatles

Have you ever been forgiven? That overwhelming, so relieving feeling that washes over you when a person you've offended has lifted the guilt, has taken away the punishment and you are freed. It's like the feeling of drowning, and then someone lifts you up out of the water and you're free to breathe.

I was put into this position recently. It was a position of needing forgiveness, and I had been running from it for a long time. Trying to deny my brokenness, I put on a facade of stability and pulled togetherness, all along, dying inside moment-by-moment in confusion and emptiness.

Why do we do this? When we sin against one another, and make mistakes, why do we hide? Why do we choose to runaway and deny our depravity? Why do we smother ourselves in pride, when we recognize that none of us are prone to perfection and all fall?

I guess we come by it honestly. From the first fall of man, this was our  reaction. We ran. We hid. We covered our nakedness in leaves and branches, thinking we were covering our vulnerability, but in truth only exposing how broken we really are.

This was my initial reaction. I ran. I hid. In my shame, I took on pride. In my guilt, I put on self-righteousness. Then finally I broke. That's what happened today. I stopped hiding. Instead of clinging to my humanity and falling into depravity, I surrendered to my depravity and was lifted into full humanity.

I exposed my wrongness. The perversion of my soul laid bear. I stepped out. I stopped running. I denied the ways of my forefathers and fathers before them, and actually looked at myself honestly.

We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) Therefore it is by grace we have been saved through faith, not ourselves. IT'S A GIFT FROM GOD (Ephesians 2:8-9). We are self-righteous pagans, looking to be self-sufficient and we hate that we fall short of the imperfection that we were predestined for before the fall. Therefore we are cursed to always desire to fulfill our purpose, but always cursed to fail, because if we did not fail we would not recognize our need for God. Even when we do fail, we refuse to acknowledge. We are so wrong. I was wrong.

And in this, some how I was brought to life. Clarity and fulfillment broke through the shards of cold darkness. There was no more faking it. I was made whole. I lingered in my state of emptiness and found joy. I was humbled.

In dying I found life. A punishment most deserved, removed. I was forgiven.

Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little." Luke 7:47

I know I am still prone to failure. I will constantly be making mistakes in my life, but I know that the God of all mercy is working in me, shaping me, molding me, and perfecting me into his likeness. 

Psalm 63^[a]

A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.

¹ You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

⁹ Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
    they will go down to the depths of the earth.
¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword
    and become food for jackals.

¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God;
    all who swear by God will glory in him,
    while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

Men are like Waffles

Oh the things I find at work. Today I found a note on a lined piece of notebook paper. I still am trying to figure out why someone took the time to copy all of this down.

An excerpt from the book Men are like waffles, Women are like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel
"How to Impress a Woman: Compliment her, Cuddle her, Kiss her, Caress her, LOVE her,stroke her, tease her, hold her,spend money on her, dine  her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, Support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man: Show up NAKED." (p.95)

As you can imagine, this quote ignited quite the conversation on the battle of the sexes for my coworkers and I. We basically felt that this lead to a nugget of wisdom that we have been hearing for a while: "Men give love to get sex, girls give sex to get love." We see this all the time in the relationships around us. Friends with benefits, girls with a guy who can provide, the girl who all the guys in the office have slept with. It's a common trend. Can we help it, if this is really how we're wired.
This brings me back to an even deeper engrained idea, the idea of pursuit. If this is true, that a guy pursues a girl to get sex, but a girl gives sex to be pursued, would it not make sense to allow a man to initiate? If a man is already getting what he wants why would he pursue. Like my mom says, "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" Interesting concept on guys and girls in relationship. Would love to hear some thoughts.

The Glorification of Busy

"Oh Martha." These are the words that have been ringing in my head over Spring Break. "Martha, Martha, you are worried and anxious about many things, but only one thing matters.  Mary has chosen the greater."

I feel like Martha. Always worried. Always anxious.Always busy doing something. Before break my roomie looked at me and said "You know, your parents should have named you Emily."

I looked at her perplexed. "Why?"

"Because Emily means industrious one, and you really never slow down."

That's me, taking on the appearance of an Emily and now reaping the side-effects. On this time when I have set to be doing nothing, I find myself feeling guilty. Isn't there something I should be doing? I'm taking a break. Is there something wrong with that? Apparently there is, because my mind is constantly racing with things that I should be doing.



What has happened that I have so glorified busy? Have a lost my sustenance so much that I don't have purpose without doing something. Though I have spent my last few days of my break perplexed and overwhelmed with anxiety about not doing anything, I am choosing to reclaim my sense of purpose, which is found in the Lord and worshiping him. I generally find that I am most able to do this by going on a walk. This is the plan. I'm going to walk. Pray. Walk. And Worship the Lord, for this is what I was made to do. The Lord has called us not to be anxious. He cares for us. Therefore, I will not be anxious. I will seek the Lord and worship him, laying aside the idol of busy and rest in the Lord.