It's no new news that I struggle with insecurities. Who doesn't? Also not new that I have crazy weird social anxiety. I struggle in close friendships. Desiring ti be liked, I become a people pleaser, silencing my voice, my thoughts, my beliefs, likes-dislikes, the very essence of who I am until I am all but dead. Yet my opinions do not die and u find myself with iSolo un rato,entro a las inner tension as my skin is the color of chameleon but my heart beat is a bold hue of unchanging color yellow.
Still, I desire this to not be revealed, because to be different is to make waves, and though my desire is to keep from making waves, to have a quiet ocean, due to the natural force of things, I inevitability do. And the paradox is my voice that I consistently deny existence is heard.
I was talking with my dear friend about this chameleon effect. How sometimes I wish I just didn't have thoughts and opinions, because then it would be easy to simply go with the flow. I wouldn't have to worry about being heard, because my voice would blend in with the rest. I'd constantly be unified.
And she replied that is sad.
And when I asked her why, she answered "you are a gift."
Your thoughts. Opinions. Ideas. They offer something to the world that noone else can and if you were to lose your voice the world would not be complete. When you silence your voice you are depriving the world of something vital."
I never thought of it that way. The idea that it is ok to disagree. It is wonderful to have a different opinion, because it is what brings beauty to tge cobtrast. As a painting, some of the most lovely effects are created by the clashing of hues.
My friend is studying marriage and family therapy and she explained in her course work they often describe family as "you can be you, and I can be me, and we can hold on to one another. "
The better I know myself, the more I will know what I have to offer. The more I can see the beauty in differences, the better I will be at embracing them and even may find joy in them.
I have a voice. My voice may sound different than others, but harmony is not made without a difference in notes. There is beauty in difference. It's time to embrace that and let my voice be heard.
Still, I desire this to not be revealed, because to be different is to make waves, and though my desire is to keep from making waves, to have a quiet ocean, due to the natural force of things, I inevitability do. And the paradox is my voice that I consistently deny existence is heard.
I was talking with my dear friend about this chameleon effect. How sometimes I wish I just didn't have thoughts and opinions, because then it would be easy to simply go with the flow. I wouldn't have to worry about being heard, because my voice would blend in with the rest. I'd constantly be unified.
And she replied that is sad.
And when I asked her why, she answered "you are a gift."
Your thoughts. Opinions. Ideas. They offer something to the world that noone else can and if you were to lose your voice the world would not be complete. When you silence your voice you are depriving the world of something vital."
I never thought of it that way. The idea that it is ok to disagree. It is wonderful to have a different opinion, because it is what brings beauty to tge cobtrast. As a painting, some of the most lovely effects are created by the clashing of hues.
My friend is studying marriage and family therapy and she explained in her course work they often describe family as "you can be you, and I can be me, and we can hold on to one another. "
The better I know myself, the more I will know what I have to offer. The more I can see the beauty in differences, the better I will be at embracing them and even may find joy in them.
I have a voice. My voice may sound different than others, but harmony is not made without a difference in notes. There is beauty in difference. It's time to embrace that and let my voice be heard.
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