blessings and curses

There's a chinese legend of a young againn ose horse ran away. Upon the news all of his neighbors sent condolences for his misfortune. However, his father warned him, "do not be downcast, for how are you to be sure that this is a curse?"
Within the month the mare returned, bringing with it a beautiful wild stallion. Upon hearing the news, all of the man's neighbors congradulated him. However the man's father warned, "do not be so quick to celebrate.  How do you not know this is really a curse?"
Upon approaching the stallion, the animal became wild, kicking and flailing to the point that he kicked the young man, sending him flying across the field, causjng unrepairable damage, and leaving the man crippled.
Again, upon hearing the misfortune, the man's neighbors sent their condolences.  However, once again the man' father warned, "do not be so quick to view this as a curse. For all you know this is a blessing."
Within the year war broke out in the country, requiring every able-bodied man to fight in combat. The numbers of slain was inconceivable.  However, because neither the man nor his father were able to fight, they were the only men in their village to survive the war to take car of each other and the the other survivors in the village.
Moral of the story: perspective is everything.
Today I was supposed to go to Canada. I spent 2 months saving for this trip and today we received a blizzard.  I am no longer venturing to Canada.
Because I am not in Canada I was able to eat breakfast with my housemates, spend some qualuty time and conversation with not just one, but two beautiful friends. I went for coffee with my brother. Spent some time in meditation. I was free to cover a shift for a coworker/friend who broke her foot. Finally, I get to go dancing. Not such a bad day after all. I guess it really is all about perspective. 

finding my voice

It's no new news that I struggle with insecurities. Who doesn't? Also not new that I have crazy weird social anxiety. I struggle in close friendships. Desiring ti be liked, I become a people pleaser, silencing my voice, my thoughts, my beliefs, likes-dislikes, the very essence of who I am until I am all but dead. Yet my opinions do not die and u find myself with iSolo un rato,entro a las inner tension as my skin is the color of chameleon but my heart beat is a bold hue of unchanging color yellow.
Still, I desire this to not be revealed, because to be different is to make waves,  and though my desire is to keep from making waves, to have a quiet ocean, due to the natural force of things, I inevitability do. And the paradox is my voice that I consistently deny existence is heard.
I was talking with my dear friend about this chameleon effect. How sometimes I wish I just didn't have thoughts and opinions, because then it would be easy to simply go with the flow.  I wouldn't have to worry about being heard, because my voice would blend in with the rest. I'd constantly be unified.
And she replied that is sad.
And when I asked her why, she answered "you are a gift."
Your thoughts. Opinions. Ideas. They offer something to the world that noone else can and if you were to lose your voice the world would not be complete. When you silence your voice you are depriving the world of something vital."
I never thought of it that way. The idea that it is ok to disagree. It is wonderful to have a different opinion, because it is what brings beauty to tge cobtrast. As a painting, some of the most lovely effects are created by the clashing of hues.
My friend is studying marriage and family therapy and she explained in her course work they often describe family as "you can be you, and I can be me, and we can hold on to one another. "
The better I know myself, the more I will know what I have to offer. The more I can see the beauty in differences, the better I will be at embracing them and even may find joy in them.

I have a voice. My voice may sound different than others, but harmony is not made without a difference in notes. There is beauty in difference.  It's time to embrace that and let my voice be heard.

repurposed backpack

A couple summers ago I traveled to Nicaragua and while I was there I picked up a super cut, if not completwly durable backpack. Within the year it was totally buated apart, but whose really gonna get rit of a backpack that they picked up on an adeventure to Latin America? Not me.
So I saved the pieces until I could find away to salvage the remains snd today I did!
Check out the wallet I made thanks to the help of some scrap fabric and grandma's vintage sewing kit :) feeling inspired.  Who knows what else I may sew up this weekend?

Zipper pocket

Unfolds

Second zipper pocket

Bubble pizza

Today was game day and the superbowl always means party  my friend hosted a potluck style party so I made a classic dish I only had once and that was in high school. It must not have been so bad, because it was demolished by kick-off. :) sadly anotger fail on the photography, but yet again I think that means something. Made it with my beautiful friend, Lauren. Thanks for help and creativity

Bubble Pizza
Crust

8 oz. (1-3/4 cups) unbleached all-purpose flour; more as needed for shaping the dough

1 Tbs. granulated sugar

2-1/4 tsp. baking powder

3/4 tsp. kosher salt

1/4 tsp. baking soda

4 oz. (8 Tbs.) very cold unsalted butter

3/4 cup very cold buttermilkeat oven to 350 degrees.
Crust

8 oz. (1-3/4 cups) unbleached all-purpose flour; more as needed for shaping the dough

1 Tbs. granulated sugar

2-1/4 tsp. baking powder

3/4 tsp. kosher salt

1/4 tsp. baking soda

4 oz. (8 Tbs.) very cold unsalted butter

3/4 cup very cold buttermilk

Combine dry ingredients.  Cut in butter, add milk. Cut into biscuit shapes (round, patty shapes) and place in greased square baking pan.

Pizza sauce:
-tomato sauce
-Thyme
-Basil
-Oregano
-rosemary
-garlic
-salt
-Pepper

Combine to taste and spread on crust. Reserve excess for dipping.

Toppings:
Whatevah you want +cheese.

Spread and sprinkle on toppings.

Bake 25-30 minutes.

Enjoy!