Afterwards they have a group discussion. During the group, one of the moms said, "they have so many childbirth classes, but no one prepares you for postpartum." This lead me to here where I'm about to put my two-cents on what I wish I would have known about postpartum. Mind you, I can only speak from my own experience, which was an all-natural, meds-free, back-home-4-hours-later birth. I also knew I would bleed afterwards, had my freezer stocked with padcicles (menstrual pads soaked in witch hazel, aloe vera, and lavender; then frozen), and I expected to be tired. So no here are the things I didn't know, and really wish I had.
1. Breastfeeding Hurts
I had no idea that the first week would hurt...and that's normal. Chapped nipples. Blistering....all normal...why does not one tell you this is normal? (Probs because they don't want to scare more new moms into using formula, but still). Every blog and class I went to talked about how if it's painful, you're doing it wrong. They also talked about the horrors of mastitis, clogged milk ducts, poor latch, etc, etc. So new mom with chapped nipples, maybe one has a blister? Yeah I freaked out a little bit and maybe went a little into crisis mode. I called my WIC Lactation coach (they didn't get back to me), I called LA Leche League (again was told my baby probably had poor latch), and finally I called my mom. I've said it once, I'll say it again, seriously, Mom knows everything. (More on that later...) When I called her up and explained the situation, she calmly said "this is normal." What?! Why had no one ever told me? She then explained what is not normal is if sore chapped nipples last more than a week, and if it looks like your baby is literally eating off your nipple (a little graphic, but it help makes a point). I grabbed my nipples balm and decided to wait it out. Sure enough, baby and I have this breastfeeding thing figured out.....now if I could just figure out away to get her to sleep more than two hours without needing to eat....
2. Mom May Just Be Your Best Source of Advice
I know that not everyone has a great relationship, if any relationship, with their mom. However, if you at least have an OK relationship with your mom, I'd say this totally applies. Put down the What To Expect The First Year and sign-off that parenting forum page, because the closest your going to get to knowing how to raise your baby, maybe from raising you as a baby. Think about it. This little bundle of love has your genes in its little body, which means it's probably a lot like you, and if not, it's probably a lot like your partner. So give your mom and/or suegra (Spanish for Mother-in-law) a call. So far my mom has been right on from breastfeeding, to the baby cues. And if that's not the case for you, at least you've probably made her day. After all, she was in your shoes with you however-many years ago. Appreciation is the least you can give her now. So give mom a call.
3. Stitches Itch
In my case, during delivery, I had a little bit of tearing in my lady bits. It wasn't severe, actually pretty mild. All the same, they needed stiches. No one told me how bad they would itch. I talked to the midwife at our follow-up appointment, and she said "that's normal and good, but there's nothing you can really do about it." So if you have any damage down under, don't expect a smooth ride. They will itch like someone let a hill of ants loose down there and there's nothing you can do about it. Don't touch, don't scratch. Just take a warm bath and sit on ice packs. That's what I've been told. Neither fully resolves the issue, but the bath helps with healing and the ice numbs it for a bit. So good luck with those stiches. Soooooo sorry if we're in the same boat.
4. You'll be exhausted for weeks
I don't know why I needed this explained to me, but now I know the necessity of maternity leave. Also, why hasn't the US switched over to mandatory paid maternity leave? Now that I'm here, I think that's a joke. Postpartum is exhausting. And yes, sure, I thought I'd be down for a couple days. But a couple weeks? No way! Call me silly, but I figured, since I had a non-medicated, natural birth, recovery would be like when you catch the flu. You drink your orange juice, sleep it off, and in about a week you're as good as new. Nope. Not the same. Here I am: 1 week, 6 days postpartum and I think someone should bake me a cake and throw a party everytime I make it out of the house. Congrats to me for making it to a doctor appointment, but don't expect me to wear much more than sweatpants. If you see me in a long skirt, remember it feels like I'm wearing NO pants. Despite the look of extra effort; rest assured, on those days, I'm feeling extra lazy.
5. You don't eat for 2 during pregnancy, you eat for 2 while breastfeeding
I kid you not, every thought of dieting postpartum has vanished. Reasoning? I am hungry all the time. They say that you're eating for 2 while pregnant? That's a lie. You eat for 2 while breastfeeding. And from what I've learned through classes and books, science seems to back this up. During the Healthy Pregnancy class my husband and I took through Everyday Miracles, the teacher explained to us that "during pregnancy the baby kind of knows what it needs, and will take from the mother's body what it needs." In other words, eat plenty so that you don't get malnourished, because baby will take in what it needs and you get the leftovers. However, in breastfeeding, you actually get to see how this tiny human is living off of you. In my case, they're eating every 2 hours round the clock, and that milk is coming from me. She's growing quick (she gained about 1 pound in a week). All of those nutrients are coming from my body, and the bigger she gets, the more nutrients she needs. So I'm trying to eat healthy for her and for me, but let's face it, regardless of what I eat, I am hungry all the time. For example, this last week my husband and I took my parents on an outing to Rodizios. For those of you not familiar with Rodizios, it is a meat feast. My husband and I only eat there on special occasions (in this case we were celebrating Father's Day).
We also only eat small snacks all day, because we are really saving ourselves for the meat. So we ate light all day. We went to Rodizios, and we ate nothing, but meat for about an hour. Steak. Chicken. Picanha. Mmmm. Needless to say, I was full by the time we left. In fact, a safer term may be engorged. I was so full that I looked like I was pregnant again and waddled out of the restaurant. That's what happens when you eat at Rodizios. What happens when you eat at Rodizios while breastfeeding? You drive home, feed the baby, and within half-an-hour you're hungry again. I'm glad I have a husband that humors me, and buys me icecream on these occasions (admittedly not the healthiest choice, but what's a nursing girl to do?).
6. You'll Be Afraid To Poop
I know, this seems a little off color, but it's true, and I wanted to prepare others for the worst. It's terrifying, mentally and physically. But here's the thing, you're body has been traumatized. I know, I know, it just gave life to the most beautiful little thing you've ever laid eyes on. Also, your body is made to do this. But, let's also be real: it's the biggest thing you've ever pushed out of your body. And it's the last thing your body told you to push out. It's ok that your body (and mind) is a little freaking out about pushing anything else out of any where. However, it's got to come out sometime. So eat some humble pie, and grab the stool softener. Especially if you hemorrhaged and are on an iron supplement postpartum, grab the stool softener. You can do this!
Granted it's only been about 2 weeks, and I'm sure there are more surprises to come. Everyday baby girl is full of more fun and personality than I ever imagined. Though postpartum recovery has had its hiccups and surprises, she's totally worth it. Hope this is helpful to all my readers, whether for a laugh or to prep for what's to come. Would love to see some comments on what things were unexpected from your postpartum journey.
Q
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