It's confession time. Okay. here we go.
Confession: I hate being told I'm in the wrong. Big surprise, right? I hate correction. I hate people saying, hey you're screwing up. You need to change. I hate hate loathe despise (insert angry verb here) it. Who does? Who really enjoys being held accountable? To be told that we're anything less than the perfection we would like to believe we are? I don't. And worst is that I don't take it very well. My initial reaction is to get angry and fight. I get defensive, putting on my warrior girl boots and am ready to take out my friends (who really do care and have my best interests in mind, but heck if I'd believe it in the moment).
The worst is when I get called on the carpet on ways I know I'm screwing up. Then I'm not only ready to fight, but simply shut down the conversation "I know! Mind your own business. I can handle this." When in fact if I know and it's still an issue, I'm clearly too overwhelmed to be doing what I need to to fix the problem, and need help. So the real issue is pride. And isn't that the root of it all.
Confession: I struggle with pride. I like to think I'm right, when so often I'm actually wrong. I push people down and shut them out until I no longer have anyone to hold me accountable. I hurt people.
So here's my confession and my apology: I am sinful and I wrestle with pride. It hurts people, especially those I care about most. And I'm sorry. I want to change and I need help. The process is slow. It won't be overnight, but it's time to stop hiding behind walls and start walking in vulnerability, accepting criticism and choosing change.
--"if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "--1 John 1:9
Confession: I hate being told I'm in the wrong. Big surprise, right? I hate correction. I hate people saying, hey you're screwing up. You need to change. I hate hate loathe despise (insert angry verb here) it. Who does? Who really enjoys being held accountable? To be told that we're anything less than the perfection we would like to believe we are? I don't. And worst is that I don't take it very well. My initial reaction is to get angry and fight. I get defensive, putting on my warrior girl boots and am ready to take out my friends (who really do care and have my best interests in mind, but heck if I'd believe it in the moment).
The worst is when I get called on the carpet on ways I know I'm screwing up. Then I'm not only ready to fight, but simply shut down the conversation "I know! Mind your own business. I can handle this." When in fact if I know and it's still an issue, I'm clearly too overwhelmed to be doing what I need to to fix the problem, and need help. So the real issue is pride. And isn't that the root of it all.
Confession: I struggle with pride. I like to think I'm right, when so often I'm actually wrong. I push people down and shut them out until I no longer have anyone to hold me accountable. I hurt people.
So here's my confession and my apology: I am sinful and I wrestle with pride. It hurts people, especially those I care about most. And I'm sorry. I want to change and I need help. The process is slow. It won't be overnight, but it's time to stop hiding behind walls and start walking in vulnerability, accepting criticism and choosing change.
--"if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "--1 John 1:9
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