My Wounds, A Healing

I have a confession. I've been struggling. That's right. I have and I admit it. This is me being completely vulnerable with my humanity. I have been struggling with being irritable (something that is completely opposite of love), and insecurity, and feelings of hopelessness, bitterness and on top of that I feel guilty about it all. I feel like this year, I have been dealt such a glimpse of my depravity that I can barely stand it. It makes me want to shrivel up into a ball and hide from the world at times. I recognize the true wretchedness of my soul and all I can really cry out is "Help..." in a feeble whimper, seeking solace. What is it for, I think? Why can't I be better? Do better? Be more? This is when I sit and listen. 

Today I found this quote: 
If we are to mirror God, to be in God's image, to be 

like God, to invite God to indwell us so that we live 

Christ's life...we have to be willing to enter our 

individual wounds and through them the wounds of 

the community...Tears are a sign that we are 

struggling with power of one sort or another: the loss 

of ours, the entering of God's.--M. Ross

How it spoke to my heart about sanctification. Sanctification

The grinding grit, wearing my

flesh. I am made whole. 

First cup of coffee in 40 days--This is from when I broke Lent on Sunday!

Having my sins come to light is the only way that they can truly be purged. Entering into my depravity is the only way that I may truly put on grace. By seeing the tragedy of my own souls condition, I discover I am not alone and that those around me, whom I love, are in just the same predicament. I cry. I sob. I struggle, and I surrender. Tearing down walls. Revealing my need. I find I am fulfilled by not what I can do, but what the Lord has done. My imperfection given beauty. My wandering given purpose. My loss, a redemption. 

Psalm 115

King James Version (KJV)

115 Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake.

² Wherefore should the heathen say, Where is now their God?
³ But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.
⁴ Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men's hands.
⁵ They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not:
⁶ They have ears, but they hear not: noses have they, but they smell not:
⁷ They have hands, but they handle not: feet have they, but they walk not: neither speak they through their throat.
⁸ They that make them are like unto them; so is every one that trusteth in them.
⁹ O Israel, trust thou in the Lord: he is their help and their shield.
¹⁰ O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord: he is their help and their shield.
¹¹ Ye that fear the Lord, trust in the Lord: he is their help and their shield.
¹² The Lord hath been mindful of us: he will bless us; he will bless the house of Israel; he will bless the house of Aaron.
¹³ He will bless them that fear the Lord, both small and great.
¹⁴ The Lord shall increase you more and more, you and your children.
¹⁵ Ye are blessed of the Lord which made heaven and earth.
¹⁶ The heaven, even the heavens, are the Lord's: but the earth hath he given to the children of men.
¹⁷ The dead praise not the Lord, neither any that go down into silence.
¹⁸ But we will bless the Lord from this time forth and for evermore. Praise the Lord.