If I were to say that work has been busy lately, that would be a lie. Now, if I were to say work has been crazy beyond compare; each new day is the new worst-day-of-work-ever; and it feels like the only way I know how to communicate anymore is fighting: That is a more accurate description of work lately.
In short: The week started with yet another co-worker quitting (that makes 3 for last week). Being under-staffed, I worked and overnight shift during what should have been my day off. Yesterday I had to take a kid to the hospital who slipped on the ice. Then on the way to the hospital I crashed the company car when a little-old Vietnamese man put his Toyota into the driver-side door. Needless to say I did not get out of work until very late.
Chaos may be an understatement. I am exhausted.
However, in the midst of processing all the crazy one solid truth stuck out (Or pointed out by my mentor): This is my choice. No one is making me work this job. Most people think I should quit. But in the end it is my choice.
As cliche as it may sound: it's for the kids. Work worth doing is never easy. However, the determination factor of success or failure is often perspective. If this job is being forced upon me, there would be no way out. Though chaos renders the feeling of lost control, in the end I always have control of my choice to stay where I am or move on.
It's all about perspective.
I was listening to yet another 3DM Devotional this morning and the Pastor was speaking about Peace. Peace is the gift Christ gave us when he returned to heaven. However, this is unlike the world's Peace. The world would define Peace as the absence of chaos. True Peace is steadfastness in the midst of chaos. Like when the disciples were in the boat screaming, "Jesus don't you care about us?" And Jesus spoke into the storm. We forget who is walking with us. We forget that the one who calms the storms is with us, so even if he doesn't calm the storm it will be OK. We can keep our eyes on Jesus and know that he is with us, guiding us. True peace does not come from controlling our life, or even controlling our anxiety. It comes from letting go. Surrendering to the one who does control all.