Lake Superior

Sitting on the rocky cliff, my eyes gaze out across the horizon, which I can not see. Foggy, the lake stretches so far it's impossible to distinguish where the water ends and the sky begins. An expanse so great my only choice of action is to sit in awe-struck amazement.
Wow! I whisper beneath my breath, but even this cannot give justice to the beauty that I behold. It would have been better to stay silent, because there are no words to truly capture the sight that meets my eyes.

Then, carried on the wind, gently falling on my ears of my heart a whisper "I love you." And my breath is taken away. Shock and awe overwhelm me in the discovery that as infinite. As powerful as the sight displayed before my eyes, there is something bigger out there. There is a creator so vast that he holds in his hands the ability to mold this structure into existence. And yet I so small he created me as well and he loves me. He so in control of every single wave that crashes against the rock. And I so in control of nothing, but believing that somehow if I try hard enough I can control something, which only leads to chaos, confusion, and sorrow.
He calls me to trust.

I stand in awe. No words can express, but overcome a song stirs in my heart. "Oh how he loves us." The notes escape my lips. A tune ripping through my very being to capture the essence of what I see, feel, experience, yet can never express. I'm taken away.

I so small. He so large. I so insignificant. He infinite. I'm amazed and given the sweet assurance that everything will be ok. I am so prone to anxiety, feeding in to depression, all sourced by lies and deception that I can be in control and I strive, failing every time. But in this moment I feel the freedom to let go. Release the insecurity and let myself be loved. Embrace my inferiority. Surrender to security. Only to be found safe in a Holy Dwelling despite outside circumstance.

"Our God you have been our dwelling place through all generations...." Psalm 91:1

A Prayer of Moses

The Lord has been teaching me about home. Teaching me about belonging. More so, being at home in him. Belonging to him. That's all that matters. That's the purpose of our being and sometimes I am so quick to forget that simple truth. However, this Psalm by Moses spoke to me. It reminded me of who I am and who the Lord is. This passage is declaring, Lord you are our home. We dwell in you. In you we have being. You complete your purposes in our lives and we trust you. Teach us to trust you. Show us your wisdom. The more I study the Psalms, the more I recognize the theme of trust. These verses are written by people that have seen the dark side of the master plan, but they declare, I will trust. Though storms come, we will continue to dwell and trust in the Lord. 

Psalm 90

The Message (MSG)

A Prayer of Moses, Man of God

90 1-2 God, it seems you’ve been our home forever;
    long before the mountains were born,
Long before you brought earth itself to birth,
    from “once upon a time” to “kingdom come”—you are God.

3-11 So don’t return us to mud, saying,
    “Back to where you came from!”
Patience! You’ve got all the time in the world—whether
    a thousand years or a day, it’s all the same to you.
Are we no more to you than a wispy dream,
    no more than a blade of grass
That springs up gloriously with the rising sun
    and is cut down without a second thought?
Your anger is far and away too much for us;
    we’re at the end of our rope.
You keep track of all our sins; every misdeed
    since we were children is entered in your books.
All we can remember is that frown on your face.
    Is that all we’re ever going to get?
We live for seventy years or so
    (with luck we might make it to eighty),
And what do we have to show for it? Trouble.
    Toil and trouble and a marker in the graveyard.
Who can make sense of such rage,
    such anger against the very ones who fear you?

12-17 Oh! Teach us to live well!
    Teach us to live wisely and well!
Come back, God—how long do we have to wait?—
    and treat your servants with kindness for a change.
Surprise us with love at daybreak;
    then we’ll skip and dance all the day long.
Make up for the bad times with some good times;
    we’ve seen enough evil to last a lifetime.
Let your servants see what you’re best at—
    the ways you rule and bless your children.
And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,
    confirming the work that we do.
    Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!

Looks like Heaven, Tastes like Health Food

So last night I made these cookies and they look good. They look so so awesome and myself, along with all my roommates liked them. One problem: I probably shouldn't try feeding them to my brother, my boyfriend, or anyone that really is expecting an oatmeal raisin cookie. I mean, you think I would have known when I was subbing out white beans for flour, applesauce for butter, flax seed for eggs, and honey for sugar. But hey! give a girl a break. These are loaded with fiber and are sure to be good for your digestive tract.

White Bean Cookies
1 cup white beans
1/3 cup applesauce
1/3 cup whole wheat flour
1/3 cup honey
2 tbs flax seed
1/3 cup water
1 cup oatmeal
1 cup dried cranberries
1 tbs cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla

Mix all ingredients. Drop by spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 10 min. Enjoy warm.

Fruit vs. Success

Daily Dose of Inspiration from Pastor Dan Thompson's Blog! Absolutely love the quote featured here, and goes along with this season of being rooted. True fruit is not success, but being rooted deeply and fruit will be born in that.

The God of Our Minds

Still on this Tozer kick. He brought up the box mentality I talked about yesterday. So often we are worshiping this idea of who we think God is instead of God as he actually is. However, our thoughts of God are what form the foundation to every piece of our faith. It is the base of who we are. No man is greater than our concept of God. Parallel, to religion has ever exceeded its concept of God. We are what we worship. This is a point that was brought up in my Psalms class. We become what we worship. that is why it says in Jeremiah 5:21 that Israel became a people with eyes that could not see, ears, but could not hear, and mouths that did not speak. They became the idols that they worshiped.
So often in the church today, we look at other cultures and judge for the statues they worship. We even point at our own culture and exclaim how we have fallen into the hands of consumerism where we worship at banks and shopping malls. Or sex with porn sites, strip clubs, and the red light district. However, when did we look at our God and ask, what box have I put you in? What are the misconceptions we have used to harness our Creator? We can not be above the one who made us, but if we do not expand our minds our concept will never be open. We become what we worship and no longer are we made in the image of God, but we make god in the image of us. We create a graven image in our mind which diverts to our hearts and is show in our fruit. Where are our roots? Where are our hearts? What are we worshiping.

Abba,
show me who you really are. not  as Iview you or think of you, but as you. Weed out the incorrect perceptions that keep me from grasping the totality of who you are. Allow me to know you. Open my mind to your word and give me understanding of what you are saying, not what my life brings to the text, but what the text brings to my life. Don't  allow me to slip into the trap of forgetting who you are. Give me grace to remember the testimony that you hasve given me, bringing me from death into life, darkness to light, from Egypt to the promiseland.  Allow me to know you for who you are. Break my box.
Amen

The Season of the Tree

Trees. Tall. Proud. Strong.
Standing firm in the wind, letting their leaves rustle in the breeze.
Trees.
If I were to draw a self portrait, I think this is what I would draw. A great big apple tree, standing in an orchard. Branches stretched high, roots expanded low, fruit in abundance to share with the world.
I think this is the way the Lord would describe me too.
He seems to speak to me through trees. Any new place I go, where there is a theme in tow, inevitably I will be drawn to a tree. This is to the point that what I have affectionately named "the prophetic tree branch" was found in my new apartment. (A tree branch was left hanging in my room by the previous owner, who also had a tree theme).
So this is the season I am in: The season of the Tree. The Lord has been speaking to me about branches, about roots, about fruit, and it's amazing how many times he uses this parable in the new testament. A tree, bearing fruit in its season. Is your fruit good or bad. But he's slowly drawing me to the realization that it's not about the fruit at all. It's about the roots. Want good fruit? Get good roots and good roots come from where their planted.
Soil dictates everything about the roots of the tree. They're the veins of the plant, carrying up life. That's why in Psalm 1 it says "Blessed is the man like a tree planted by streams of living water." He is in good soil. Rich soil, soil connected to the water, the life blood. The parable of the good soil rings loud and clear. Seeds being planted.
But for me, as I am the tree, what appeals is the idea of roots. Where are my roots? I was reading in Matthew 3, where John the Baptist begins his ministry. The Pharisees approach him and he scolds, "You brood of vipers. You want good fruit, but how do you expect that to happen when you are rooted in evil?"(Paraphrase mine).
 It's about the roots. It's about the heart. Now get this. What puzzles me is that the Pharisees were teachers. They spent their lives studying the law. So wouldn't they be rooted. Doesn't rooting come from studying the word? Doesn't good fruit come from knowing what is good and doing it?
And this is the vital trap. It is the point where we begin to worship the good instead of the one who is good. I was in a conversation with a friend one time and he explained idolatry as this: "So often we put God in a box. God is unfathomable, but we get this idea of him and we try to compartmentalize him. Then, once we get our picture structured just as we think it should be, we begin worshiping our god in a box, and no longer are we worshiping God, but we are worshiping this box in which we have captured our idea of God."
This was the fall of the Pharisees. They had studied. They had formed this idea of God, and began to worship him, instead of worshiping the God of the universe as he is. They worshiped Him with their works from the law, trying to achieve righteousness, neglecting the truth that true righteousness is only found in repentance. They put God in a box, and anyone that has any encounter with God has glimpsed the truth that God is uncontainable.
A.W. Tozer said "It is impossible to keep our moral practices sound and our inward attitudes right, while our idea of God is erroneous or inadequate. If we would bring back spiritual power to our lives, we must begin to think of God more nearly as He is."
I ran across this quote today as I have started reading THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE HOLY by Tozer. A friend suggested it to me as I said, "I'm needing to be stretched. I need something to aid me on this journey of seeing God as He really is, as I can on earth."
It's about the roots, and my desire is to be rooted in Christ. So here I go. Ready to have my mind blown open to God in a way I have never known or imagined could be known.

Abba, reveal to me who you are. I'm not satisfied to create an idol of works or some depiction of you I have created in my head. I'm not satisfied when you tore the veil that I may know you as you truly are and be known. Abba, if righteousness is found in repentance, I'm repenting my tendency to seek salvation in my works, when only dependency on your Lamb that brings relationship with you can birth righteousness. I'm ready to have my mind blown.
Amen.

Cup o' Community

So I'm apart of this community called Source. Apart of this community is gathering together for weekly meals, a part of "doing life together" (excuse the buzz words). We meet every Wednesday to eat fabulous food cooked by the same lady. This lady is a fantastic cook. Middle-aged, decked out in tattoos, piercings, and plugs. She whips ups salsbury steak, tacos, hot dish. Anything you would enjoy at a home cooked meal and serves the community. This lady works to feed an army. She works hard and this is not all she does. On Fridays she coordinates the community food shelf. She feeds the whole neighborhood and thus is kind of the lifeblood of our little community. She's so essential. 

Coincidentally, the "Bou" has a series of cups right night that talk feature saying about what makes life worth while. One says "Life is rubbing elbows at the community table." How can I not think of my community and the hard work coming from the hands that prepare our meals? Hence, I decided to gift this cup. I know. I know. That sounds trashy at first glance. I mean, really? Gifting a disposable coffee cup? But actually it turned out really cool. Guess who figured out how to bake banana bread into a coffee cup. This Chick!

Yeah! So check it out, and see what our fabulous chef will be receiving as soon as I see her. 

Banana Bread ala Bou. 

Instructions: Make banana bread. Spoon into Cup about half-way full. Bake at 350 for 30-45 min. Let Cool. Wrap. And Gift!

Life is what you make it. 

I made banana bread for the lady that makes my meals. :)

What the Bou is Teaching Me About Coffee, Communication, and Grace?

So I've been working at the Bou for about 3 weeks now, and today I fumbled hardcore. Seriously. Someone has it out for my hands. As I was trying to multitask: talking to a customer, grabbing a lid, and filling a coffee cup; I forgot to flip off the dispenser and coffee spilled over my hands. Burning. Blisters are now forming on my fingers as they heal. Today, I have learned that Coffee is hot. I've also learned that customers don't care if the skin of your fingers has been scaled. They want their java and they want it now. They haven't had their caffeine yet, and they are crabby. When a crisis happens before your daily cup of joe, it's a given that you won't be awake enough to handle it. That's how I'm learning grace. Grace with others and grace with myself. I'm still learning. I'm learning that I really had no idea of what it took to get my small dark roast, no room for cream. Hence, I will forever be tipping my baristas from now on. I have learned that if I don't call out the orders to my teammates, my customers will not get their drinks. I've also learned that I am still learning, and as my customers may be crabby, they haven't had their coffee yet, so I must have grace. It's only been 3 weeks. I still have some experience to go before I'm an expert, so I must have grace with myself. Laugh at the mistakes and fix it next time. Meanwhile, I'm gonna let my fingers heal as I continue giving hugs in mugs to the world.

Happy Anniversary

Mom and Dad under the Banner my
sister created

 Wednesday is my Parents' Happy Big 25th Anniversary. A rarity today's day and age, and a huge, blessed occasion for my family. In honor of this, my sister and I, as well as the church family put our heads together to celebrate.  Western themed to pay tribute to our Montanan Roots, we enjoyed a day food, friendship, and faithfulness. Love you Mom and Dad.

Buffet life of pulled BBQ Turkey Sandwhiches,
Calico Beans,Potato Salad,Potato Chips, Fruit Salad,
and Jello Salad. Yum!

Dishin' Up!

Cowboy Hat Cookies for Dessert!

Centerpiece: Daisy's, Jars of Grains, Bucket o' Peanuts, Candle,
and Mason Jar to Catch Peanut Shells.

Cards and Gifts Table. My siblings and I got them some matching
mugs, and a 1/2 lb of Caribou Coffee to enjoy on their 2nd
Honeymoon to Duluth!

The church family enjoying the feast. 

I'm a child of God

Reading 1 John today. It starts off talking about the revelation of Jesus. How he is the light. The life. The Son of God. It continues to describe how we are found in him, and if we say we are not sinful, we lie and can't be found in sin, but if we confess sins, then we belong to Christ. We are children of God.

I struggle with worry and anxiety. I struggle hard. Concerned, confused, contemplating what my go wrong, and become wrapped up in a ball of high-strung mess. I'm sinful. I don't trust. However, I am a child of God. The Lord knows how far I have to go, but he also sees how far I've come. He's called me to holiness, and only in seeing my brokeness can I be made whole.

So today I'm trusting. I am a child of God, and into my Papa's arms I leap. Day after day, until I'm unafraid. Until I can trust in wholeness. Completeness. until one day I find the glory of being able to fly, because I believed what he said. With Him all things are possible.

Abba, thank you that I'm on my way. I'm not there yet. But I am in process. Thanks for not giving up on me. Day by day, you are calling me to you. Amen. 

The Kara

So if the Bou were to make a new drink, this is what it should be called: The Kara. This is the name of the girl who inspired the drink which made waves today during the Uptown Art Fair. She's a shift at my store and taught me a drink, which I suggested to nearly customer served today. What is it you may ask?

Cold Press
+1 pump Vanilla
+1 pump White Chocolate
=Apparent Yum!

People are loving it!

Come visit your favorite Barista and get your own!

Uptown Art Fair!

Check out the Uptown Art Fair August 2-4 and while you're at it, come visit be at the Uptown Lund's Caribou!